Just ramblings

So much has been going on and so many things have been bothering me.. back to getting on the weight wagon.. time to lose lose lose

trying to deal with intrusive people has been driving me to a short rope... to short to hang myself and not long enough to lasso them away...

just kidding.. no im not suicidal. just frustrated beyond belief.

anyone out there?

It's about time - Upgraded Charges in Tori Stafford Case

So many people are obsessed with the case of Victoria Stafford. Me Included.

I have been watching the heart wrenching developments of this case with baited breath from day two. When it became obvious that this was not a normal case of child gone missing.

What is a normal case… ok strike that, there is no such thing. It is sad and tragic and miserable and no matter what the result of the case, it is just an eye opener for everyone.

So many people said it can not happen here, why should I walk my kids to and from school every day, I live so close, the town is so small, everyone knows everyone.

OK? So my questions start with, did you know that there are pedophiles living beside you? Did you know your neighbor likes little girls? Did you know that people, young women, only 18 and seemingly nice young men, only 28, are capable of stealing a little girl in front of an entire neighborhood, and entire community, disgracing her and her family and then murdering (allegedly) her and then disposing of her body and carrying on with their life as normal?

No I didn’t think so. That is why you should walk them to school every day and every night. Its not fear, it is reality. It happens everywhere, it can be anyone… there is no “normal” about the people who are deranged enough to even consider this heinous crime.

But today, there was a little bit of good news in a case that has no good in it.

Terri-Lynne McClintic, will be tried equal to her counterpart, charged with kidnapping and first degree murder.

Hopefully they will be smart enough to not allow her a plea bargain for testimony. She deserves no breaks.

She deserves the same fate as Tori Stafford. She deserves to be torn to shreds and disposed of to allow the elements to rot her away. Same goes for Michael.

I could care less how much tragedy they had in their lives. We all have tragedy, hard times, and struggles, what gives them the right to use this as an excuse to get away with ruining the chances of this little girl growing up and becoming something great? What excuses them taking her from her loving father and mother and brother? The friends, the community or the world?

Tori Stafford’s (Alleged) death is not to be in vain. So many people learned that she is the very reason that we need to be aware in this cruel world that there is not always good in the world. It is the reminder that it only takes a moment for the whole world to turn upside down and not make sense. It only takes a second for a seemingly normal day to became terrible not normal.

If you are in Ontario, within a 50 minute drive of Guelph, keep your eyes open for the grey seat from the Honda used (allegedly) in the abduction.

Keep your eyes open for differences in your property, moved items, cleared areas where vehicles may have been parked, shallow graves. Who knows what you are looking for. Keep your eyes out for Tori. She has to be out there somewhere.

 

 

 

 

So why is it that we feel the need to protect scum?

No matter what his role is in the abduction and alleged murder of 8 year old Victoria Stafford, Michael Rafferty was indeed involved. There is a missing, presumed dead, 8 year old girl and we have him in segragation and on suicide watch?

What the hell? We let the one go on some helicopter rides, and enjoy freedom for a few more days with no reward for the parents who are grieving and hurting and wanting to have some closure, and we protect the other one from a fate that he so totally deserves?
The facts of the case are yet to roll out and people are still wondering what happened, how did this happen under everyones nose and no one noticed anything. Then the people who did come forward, were the dismissed? Was it their info that broke the case? Why did it take so long?

What happened with this case that could have been better right from the start?

The amber alert is going to be reviewed? Ok, that is good. I don’t think the amber alert would have done anything, I mean really… the vehicle was unknown, all the media attention and it still took 42 days to break the case?

Something is wrong in this world. And I don’t like it.

 

 

What is the world coming to, and when do we consider the death Penalty?

So the tragic news has finally hit the world. Two people arrested and charged, with murder, abduction and accessory after the fact.

A 28 year old man, Michael Rafferty and an 18 year old girl, Terri-Lynne McClintic.

They are searching for her remains in Guelph.

The whole story is not out yet though. We will have to wait and see.

First I think I, and the rest of the world owe Tara McDonald a little bit of an apology. It was hard not to speculate with all the crazy stories we were hearing. Hopefully the connection between her and this woman is nothing more than aquaintance. It is obvious that her pain is real. The reality of this is something no mother would wish on another. Tara McDonald, I am sorry that I casted doubt on some of the things you said and did. I am sorry you will not have your daughter in your arms, like we were all so hoping you would have.

Tara, I am so sorry for your loss. It is unfathamable what has happened.

I hope you and Rodney lean on each other, find happiness in a life that will be filled with sadness for years, decades to come, there is no words to express how this affects the world, so there are even less words to express how it will affect you.

May you be strong for Daryn, and never let him out of your reach, he will be so hurt, and need so much from you and Rodney right now. Stay strong on your road to recovery and please please do not relapse, it will be so hard to get out of if you do.

Rodney, you have worn your heart on your sleeve this whole time, like it was for Tara to admit her demons, it had to have been hard for you to tell the world you were not always there, and how very raw the pain will be for you when you realize what you had missed out on was time you can not get back now. But know, that a fathers love is so deep. A fathers love whether they are there or not is felt in the heart of every little girl.

There are no words to express our sorrow, mine as a mother, my family’s as a whole, us as a society.

It is like a bad dream, one I wish that I could wake up from. I just dreamt about her a couple days ago, her hair was longer, and she came riding up to us on a snowmobile with an older man. She was smiling, she was happy and she was alive. I so wish that dream would come true. I hope, although I know it wont turn out this way, that the confession is bogus, a disguise of where she really is. Alive. One can hope… like Rodney says, until he sees her remains, he wont believe it and neither can I.

What is this world coming to when an innocent little eight year old girl can not even walk home alone the five blocks to her home without meeting with a monster.

What kind of monster lives inside the body of an 18 year old woman, truly just a young girl herself, inside a 28 year old man, who at first glance appears to be attractive and friendly. The quiet next door neighbor. How can that very same woman hand out flyers of this beautiful missing girl even though she knew the fate that she had met…. How can she stand by and watch the anguish she put a mother, a father, a brother, a family and the world through. How can you do that and not do anything.

I do not understand it and it saddens me for sure! Sadden isn’t a word that even comes close to how I feel. I feel as if it were my own child.

I hugged my girls really tight last night, and as I held them I cried. I cried at the thought of what Tara and Rodney must feel, how they won’t ever feel those arms around them again. How they wont hear her saying I love you Momma or I love you Daddy from her sweet little angel voice again.

Then after I tucked my girls in tightly, and told them how much I loved them, I went upstairs and I felt angry.

Angry that as a society we breed these monsters.

That our justice system will fail the Stafford and McDonald family like they have with so many other families.

That these monsters will tell their sad stories of woe, how they were unwanted, unloved, raised by drunks, abused and neglected by the world. How they were shunned by their peers.

And then they will give them a pass to go back into society, because some how locking them up in segragation to protect them from the people who will kill them behind bars is a breach of their charter of rights.

Where is the chair? The lethal injection? The stoning, the hanging, any of that.  We should brutalize them the same way they brutalized Tori. Without even knowing the facts we know, that if a man and a woman kidnap a child for nefarious sexual purposes that Tori’s fate was not that of ice cream and teddy bears.  Without knowing the facts if there is a body of a beautiful, lively, funny little girl with blonde hair and big blue eyes and an infectious smile lieing in a field somewhere in Guelph, that she met a fate that was not kind, or friendly or decent, and was certainly a breach of her rights to be a carefree little girl. So why should we entertain the nicetties of two losers who deserve a slow and painful death? They have obviously admitted to their crimes or we would not be searching for a body.  We would still be searching for a little girl. To reunite her to her family.

There is nothing that will ever ever make Tara or Rodney feel whole again, but if indeed Tori’s fate is what we suspect it is, would the satisfaction of these two monsters being executed to the full exent possible not give them some solace and some closure?
I would have to hope so.

I beg the courts to not show mercy. I beg the courts to not segragate them, why do we protect this scum? Let them in to the general population and let the others deal with them the best way they know how. Broom handles up the ass, splinters and all. Let him be victimized. Let her be victimized. So they will know the pain they inflicted. Show no mercy, as they did to Tori.

 

To the McDonald Family, to the Stafford Family. There are no words to express how sad and sorry I am for you. May God, whichever you wish, be with you in your hearts, and may you be with each other through these incredibly hard times to come. As a nation we are watching with bated breath for the outcome of this ever so tragic story.

 

We are so sorry for your loss. For all the hell you have endured, the scrutiny you have been through.

With all the love

 

 

 

 

Does it have anything to do with her daughter?

So last night Tara McDonald did an interview and confessed to her addition to oxicontin and that she is on the methadone program to beat her addictions.

 

My very first thought and comment is. Good for you Tara, good for you for recognizing your problem, admitting your problem and seeking help for your problem. No one who has never struggled through addiction will ever truly understand exactly how hard that was for you to do.

 

But then the questions start falling.

 

Tara why did you not disclose this when the first rumour hit the world that you were indeed involved in drugs? You stood on your front step and said that you had not done any drugs since high school… I mean who doesn’t smoke weed in high school. (Which you are right) but to stand there and not tell the whole truth, as much as it is not our business, just ruins your credibility as the case goes on. More people will be skeptical about what you have said thus far as being the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  It takes a lifetime to build trust and only a second to break it. These people you were not telling the truth to, are the people who want to help you find your daughter. AND ALL INFORMATION IS RELEVANT.

 

Sadly, when you are at the public’s mercy, your whole life is too.

 

That is a sad unfortunate fact, but now knowing that you know the wonderful world of drug dealers, I wonder if your response would be different to their character? Sure there are some nice and friendly drug dealers out there… but it is their business. And seeing their business is illegal, how can one expect that they would not be involved in other things also?? Including abducting a child. People who suffer from addiction are sick. It is an illness, some recover, some never do. Once an addict always an addict. That is what they say.

 

That does not necessarily make you any less of a person, or any less of a mother. It just adds concerns, of course, it is a shady world. People put lots of trust and when it is broken it adds concerns, maybe it is not our business to be concerned, but Tara, we are searching for your child.

 

And there is a real concern about having an addict as a mother, and child of an addict will tell you that. The dangerous of od’ing, the dangers of the associates you know, even if not your friends, these things are to worry about.

 

The focus should not be on your drug problem and only on your daughter, but please understand, that when you stand on your step and say one thing then the next week you change it, people are going to talk, and it still keeps your story out there, but then people run off with their theories, which never ever bode well for you.

 

Tara fighting with Rodney and playing the well here is his dirty laundry game only makes you look childish. You are both missing your daughter… remember, keep the focus there, like Rodney is doing. Like you are doing.

 

It wont help bring her home if they see you fall apart, and it wont be nice for tori to see it either.

 

Bring her home, whoever has her, so this family can begin to heal.

 

 

 

What can you say when you have nothing to say?

 

 

This case of the missing Victoria “Tori” Stafford is the most troubling case I have ever seen, it is so sad for me to even fathum what it would be like to spend my mother’s day minus one child, with no idea where that child would be. As the mother, the father or the grand parent, it would just be too hard to even imagine.

So let us first get the important info out there for those of you who do not know… which would really bother me. Seeing as she has been missing for over a month
All Calls Confidential - No Name Required Call 1-800-387-7962

VICTORIA (TORI) STAFFORD

5576-S

Date Of Birth: Jul 15, 2000

Height: 4'5"

135 cm

Weight: 62 lbs

28 kg

Hair: Blonde, Short

Eyes: Blue

Victoria was wearing black and white running shoes, black leotards, a black velvet pleated skirt, an army green colored

"Hanna Montana" T-shirt that had pink stitching with a hood, a black "Hanna Montana" winter coat with a hood trimmed with

white fur, a black head hand, and butterfly earrings. She was carrying a purple colored "Bratz" bag.

ANYONE WITH INFORMATION PLEASE CONTACT

MISSING SINCE: Apr 08, 2009

MISSING FROM: Woodstock Ontario

 

If you need more information on the details of this case, please just Google her name and you are going to find all the information you will need.

 

There are sightings of her in Alberta, but the police have not looked much beyond Woodstock as it is their belief she is likely still there.

 

They do not believe that there is a random person kidnapping kids, they have indicated that they believe it is someone known to the family.

 

Since the last time I blogged about Victoria, many strange things have happened.

 

Tara, without notifying the police or the father, was whisked away in a limousine that was not seen by any of the reporters, police or neighbors who are always around Tara’s home. She indicated that it was a mysterious, wealthy person who say her plight and was willing to donate any amount of money that would bring Tori home, for the simple reason that they themselves had lost a child, and did not want her to go through that also. This person carries the hair (which coincidentally is the same color as Tori’s ) with her, and that made Tara feel she could be trusted. This happened on a Thursday, she reported it to the public on the Monday. There are many questions swirling. Tara said the police confirmed it was legitimate, that was not their words, they said “Those were Tara’s words, our words are we looked into it and it does not give us any concern in our investigation”

 

Tara has now missed a press conference, she is starting to break down, the stress and reality of this situation is too much for her now. We get that, as parents we all understand that right??

 

Rodney has pushed back his studies, his priority is his daughter, and has been seen day one. But now his focus is without hindrance, there is nothing that will stop him from finding his daughter.

 

The online detectives, and speculators can draw you quite the story. To which there has been much backlash, however people are still talking about Tori, and considering it was 1 month ago she went missing on the 8^th, that is a very good thing. But it is just not enough to erase the pain and suffering of the people who wish she was back at home.

 

Time lines, friends, foes, and crazy stories add to the mystery of this story. We are all waiting with baited breath to see where she has been and when she is coming home.

 

Let us hope that by Victoria Day, Little Tori Stafford will be home.

Missing Girls and Questionable Mothers, Absent Fathers

OK I do not want to be slanderous at all so I have to point out this blog is based totally on opinion and observation of the news coverage on the missing case of Victoria Tori Stafford.

I am a mother. I have two girls. I only ever once thought I lost one of them, at a lake in BC that was TOTALLY crowded. For the three minutes it took me to find my daughter i was shaking, trembling, crying, scared, and mortified of the possibilities that could have happened. Once she was with me I was angry and relieved and so glad all at the same time. She was safe, unharmed and just testing her swimming abilities.... it could have been so tragic !

So when I try to imagine how i would feel on day 1, 3, 6, 9, 13 of my daughter being missing it is incredible hard to imagine me caring about keeping check of my emotions for the sake of the camera, the cousins, the aunts, the uncles, the police, the siblings... I would not be able to do it. My kids are my life. They are every breath I take. Which is why i am overprotective. I will not let my daughter walk to school alone, i will not let her walk home alone, i will not let her out of my site no matter where i live. I live in a small community, the same community that I grew up in, the same one that I was able to stay out til dark and walk to and from school every day. Alone. But it doesn't matter where you live, times have changed and the bad guys are everywhere, if they are smart bad guys they are preying on neighborhoods that think it wont happen here... where the parents are more lacadasial in watching their kids.. because they are so naive to think that it wont happen here.

So the story goes that she was walking home alone only that day because the brother decided to go with a friend. Did he not meet up with his sister to tell her this. Did he not notice a woman waiting for Tori? Or did he know the woman, waiting for Tori?

If you know your daughter is coming home and she is not home in the 15 minutes it takes to walk home, why didn't you call?? wait til 8pm or 6pm whenever it is that they called??

The video doesn't show her holding the woman's hand. every one is seeing things who says that.. watch it again. The father waiting for his son, didn't even flinch. so he doesn't matter unless he saw the woman and knows who she is.

The father. He has shown true and raw emotion, he has not be flaunting his life on the news, and shows genuine concern. He is not in this to get famous. He wants his daughter back. he has made no facade to try to trick us to think he is better than he is or perfect in any way. Many criticize him for being absent from the media.. but he is looking for his daughter. He is there searching for the one thing that makes his life whole... I'm glad he is not up in the cameras right now.

The mother.... hair changes, big sunglasses, inappropriate press conference clothing.. lack of emotion. She just irks me. And then the trust funds? Seriously??
Ever heard of victim services? They will provide all the counselling you and your whole family will need. You don't need trust funds, no one has a heart condition that is going to cost millions to fix without benefits. YOU DO NOT NEED MONEY except maybe to pay off your debts that got you here? It is so hard to be compassionate for a woman who shows no compassion! The phone company wont cut the stafford phone off right now.. and it shouldnt even be in jeopardy of that unless of course you havent been paying your bills? Is this a way to make money? That is what it seems like. Planning events for next month?? One day at a time, what happened to that?? NO BIKE RALLY! What the hell? Your daughter could be back by then? She could be dead? She could still just be living in your aunts basement?

How does a house that is surrounded by media and police and gawkers get a 5 foot plastic tree dropped off and no one notice??

it looks so fishy and it is soo hard.

No one but the police know the cold hard facts, well maybe the mother and her shady shady boyfriend.

The fact is Victoria Tori Stafford is still missing and it is affecting all of Canada. Everyone wants to know how an 8 year old vanishes into thin air?

The speculation doesnt help of course.

Just find her, bring her home. And mom, if you know where she is, tell them. You should be brought down. Your little girl is suffering because of you!

I know I will take slack from it, but frick. What else??

What?

I just can not get over all the drama in the news.

First it was the truck being stolen in sherwood park with a baby in it.. the mother scrutinized for her choices. A split second, that is all it was, and some kid who escaped from a group home jumped behind the wheel. He didnt know when he first got in, that there was a baby, but it wasnt long after he realized. - Baby and truck were returned safely a few hours later... but the whole community is of course still discussing the decisions she made, good or bad, and the consequences that should be faced. So tragic.

Then there is the 8 year old left to walk home alone only three blocks from her home after school (something i disagree with, she is 8! I am way over protective I guess.... but I just can not allow myself the moment of opportunity that my child will go missing. Especially if she were walking alone! She has yet to be found. There is a video tape showing her walking away willingly with another woman.. no one in her family knows who it is.. but she is putting up no struggle and she has not been heard from since.

Then last night I hear about the sunday school teacher who sexually abused then killed a little girl in her church. She left her body in a suitcase... she was a mother... what the hell??

What is wrong with this world? Where are the consequences? Come on people. This is enough. Our children are our future.. how can we teach them these things?

How can we be so at risk??

It breaks my heart.

What is up with this crazy world?

I can not believe that in a matter of a couple days the topics of my blogs have not been about my visits to the gym or my attempts to get there every day.

They have not been about who is doing what and where and superficial things that really dont matter... like the fact that the emillionaire system I wanted to share with you is a SCAM! Yes for a dollar 95 they will call you and want to charge you another 30 a month for information I could tell you free anytime you want to hear it! Want to make money online? Want to sell on Ebay? I have been there and done that and the money they are scamming from people makes my stomache twist...

But the more important news is the disappearance of Victoria Stafford. Again. Another crazy incident outside of a school.. with parents and children all amuck and another child is gone! What gives?

The surveillence video shows her walking willingly away with a woman. Right past a man waiting for his son... did they see her, did they recognize the woman with her? DId they pay any attention to it at all, it seemed so normal, not stressed, not forced.

Then you read the media, and you know that vital information is being with held... for the sake of the investigation which I get... but help us, the parents of the children who do come home today, to understand what it is that we are missing?

How can this keep happening? With all the education, surveillance, etc... further up the street, was there more cameras that were looking out?

Sigh.

It saddens me.

Deeply.

I wish that we knew what the whole story was, but just like on TV, without a trace, or any of those shows, there is sometimes things they have to keep from the public, so that when they get a tip or a lead it is exclusive and the perps dont have a chance to get away from the information. Cause bad guys watch tv too.

What involvement do the family have if any? Neighbors? Friends? Co workers? Enemies?

We can strategize all we want... but right now a family is broken, a mother probably so distraught she can not eat or sleep or do anything but pray her daughter comes home. A father so in agony that life seems worthless?!

I know that is how i would feel. The desperation this family must feel, cause even I a stranger, who doesnt know them from a hole in the ground, feels devestated for them. I am so blessed my two kids are with me, safe. I love them so much. It is times like this that i can forget their petty fighting and annoying tantrums. I love them so much, and I am so grateful for them.

I pray for the Stafford family that she be brought home safely.

Amber Alert Sherwood Park Baby

So I have to write a post about it because it has been so talked about.
I live in Sherwood Park. I went to school with the mother in question. A close friend of mine was there when the whirlwind began. The worst two hours of any mothers life.

Now you see the media spin things out of control.

The facts:

She had the baby in a car seat, sleeping in the front seat, because the passenger air bags turn off on that seat.

She stepped out of her vehicle to receive her other child walking across the street after school.

Some punk casually hopped into the vehicle and drove away.

He called, from her cell phone, the grandfather to tell him where the truck was.

There are other facts, of personal nature, that may or may not affect your whole opinion on this case. But they are not for me to divulge I guess... I was in fact, not THERE, but my friend, who was, shared all the details with me.

The scariest 2 and a half hours of my life

No kidding.

Ok so knowing all the facts, and then some I have a few things I want to touch on.

The first thing is, this ended happily. The baby was found, unharmed, untouched. The vehicle was not wrapped around a pole and the child was reunited with his adoptive mother. (yup)

Everyone is now safe. But the torment and scrutiny is not going to end there. I have two kids... so I can play both sides.

1. Why was the child in the front seat? Even if the stupid airbags turn off, since the beginning of car seats, the safest place for the child is to be in the middle row in the middle seat... before there were airbags, that is where they tell you to put the child. It is just safer. Maybe not more convenient, but safer... Would it have made a difference with the young car thief? Maybe only for the worse, as there was no way to not notice the car seat after he started driving away. Baby Noah was sleeping, so he wasnt making noise. The thief may have not noticed the baby and could have been a lot more reckless with the vehicle which would have caused many many more tragic hours.... So maybe it was lucky then?

2. It is less than thirty seconds to remove the keys from the ignition. Lock the doors. I do it all the time. I hate leaving the doors unlocked... even in the quaint little big hamlet of sherwood park, crime happens, put a shiny new truck running with keys in the ignition doors unlocked and place one loser near it and it is inevitable the shiny new truck will be gone. Would you think someone would do that in front of several stores, and lots of parents pickingup their kids, in front of homes, a school and a busy intersection. Shaking my head... the thing is this.. we ALL know it can happen, at ANY time. ANYWHERE. So with the most precious things in your life why would you risk it? So when you are putting groceries in the car... do you start it throw the kids in and then load up the trunk... opportunity.. could happen then... (I dont but it could happen) how about when you drop something in the mail. Run in for milk? Run up to the door to get something from someones house... or to collect a child from school. It just seems so routine, that in those things it would not happen, the thing you do every day. I can honestly say, if I have ever left my kids in the car, for any reason at all, when it is -30 i might leave the car running... in which case, I leave one key in the ignition, and I lock the doors, and I take the other key with me. Its just not worth the risk, so I seldom do even that. convenience doesnt matter when it comes to the kids.

3. It is a portable child carrier, the weather was nice... just take him with you. He is worth so much more.

I know that she will NEVER ever do that again!! She is a responsible parent, regardless of what you think. This woman has the biggest heart of any person I know. Her whole life she has been compassionate, and friendly and caring and nurturing. Her family is so sickenly wonderful they almost look like a tv family. Cast to be the good church going neighbors everyone wishes they had. But like all of us, she is human and in a moment of weakness made one bad decision that she will be scrutinized for, for the rest of her life!!

But while you are judging her look in your own mirror. How many times have you stepped away from the vehicle, the house, the cart in the shopping center. How many times have you turned your back at the park. How many times have you lit a cigarette, or had a drink then got in the car.. yes even that one drink could have been a bad decision. We all make them. They are insignificant until something happens. In this case, she was a victim as much as she was the person who caused it. Had she not left her keys, he would have taken the next available vehicle.. and maybe there would be no baby in the car... maybe there would be? Who knows.

But judging her doesnt change the facts. She made a bad decision which turned into hours of hell.. days of hell if you look at the blogs and message boards and everything else?!

She is a caring compassionate woman. And had it been you who had made this same mistake she would be standing there beside you consoling you and helping you find your missing car and child. She would not be judging you. I know this, and everyone who knows Brooke, knows this.

Even though her and I were friends lifetimes ago, I know the core being that she is, has never ever changed. She is as wonderful now as she was then. I grieve for her, because I know how she will torment herself. I know she will be scrutinized and everyone will forget all the good she does.. for the moment. Because they are too busy pointing fingers and asking why didnt you do this and why didnt you do that.

She is not some crackhead who didnt care... she is a loving mother, who was also concerned for the safety of her other child crossing the street. It is such a catch 22.

My prayers and thoughts are with you Brooke, your family, the little boy, and everyone around you who has been affected by this tragic story that ended so happily.

I bet the kid who stole the car will never steal a car again..... he was not a kidnapper on purpose. Maybe God taught two lessons in one??

lets hope.

Blessings Brooke, from an old friend who is thinking about you in this tragic time.

Love you Forever is the all time best book ever.

Sad, funny, ridiculous and an absolute must have in any parents collection.

My baby girl who is now ten. And my other baby girl who is now 4.
When I was reading this book for the first time I had just given birth to my beautiful daughter Jade. I read it and I cried and cried and cried. I would sing her the song every night.
The thought of not having my little baby girl one day destroys me in an instant.
I never want to lose a child, and then it made me think, I am still that child and I never ever ever want to lose my mother either.

It is sort of funny, cause it is the most beautiful children's book out there, and now I buy a copy for everyone as soon as they have a baby.

But I called my mom one day and I read it to her, and of course I was crying because it made me sad ( I think I was a little hormonal maybe) but she stopped my tears and turned it to laughter when she replied with " Dont you think that woman borders psycho path? I mean really, how many mothers are going to climb through their sons window when he is a grown man with a family of his own?" And she was right... LOL
But it is a beautiful book, now I can read it to my youngest and I make it through without crying, but it is hard sometimes. Then I remember stalker mom. LOL And although I wont be climbing any ladders, I WILL BE the stalker mom, because I never want to lose my kids EVER.

Yeah!

My sister gave me the very best news ever! My uncle is coming around.
He has started to wake up and is some what recognizing things around him! Thank God!!

He is moving the left side, but not so much the right, but is trying.

He recognized his wife, and squeezed her hand, he looked around for my mom when she told him his sister was here.

Today that was the absolute best news ever!!

I dont pray, but I am now.

My uncle who at one time I thought hated kids, (but as I got older found out he didnt) is laying in a hospital fighting for his life.
Still unconscious and no one can tells us what is going to happen.

The stroke he had was BIG one. Had he not been stubborn he would have gone to the hospital much much sooner, but he is him and he didnt go. I sooo wish he would have gone and I wouldnt be sitting here worrying about what will happen to my moms little brother. His wife would not be worrying if he will be alive or paralyzed or back to himself.

I wouldnt be wondering if he is laying there wishing for it to end...

So I am praying, and I ask you all to pray also, please pray that he will wake up and remember who he is and who we are. Please pray he will still have quality of life. Please pray that he will heal and rehabilitate.

pplease I beg you, pray that my uncle comes back to us.

Reasons to get healthy I guess... sad day.

I am deeply saddened today by the news that my uncle had a stroke. THey removed a blood clot from his brain and he is still unconscious. I hope to goodness that he pulls through no damage.

He had a stroke about a year ago and broke his leg. He has been on blood thinners ever since, which is why it is so terrible to think he had a clot in the first place...

Worst of all, and here comes my lecture people... .listen to your body it speaks loudly at times.... he had been having painful headaches for a few days and refused to go to the hospital, last night he started having headaches that nauseated him, his wife drove him immediately... he had a blood clot. they removed it.. and now we wait impatiently to determine what the results will be?!

we will all die at one time, for one reason or another. MAybe eating healthy and excercise will or will not help, no one person really knows for sure... there are the avid health junkies... they all die eventually too.

But this is just a good reminder why it is more and more important for us to be a little more aware of what our bodies are telling us. Get fit, get healthy and know when something is different.

prayers for you Uncle Brian, we love you and hope you get better really really soon.

Aquasize

Wow, i thought low impact would be easy. Not so.
It worked things that I didnt know needed working but it was so fun! I had a great time. And i really felt it last night and this morning. If I keep at it I will have success. It feels so good when you are consistant with something and keep going. Tonight we are taking a break and not doing anything. And I am glad for that.

ALthough I may just take the kids swimming anyways. It is fun and they love it and of course the sleep good at night too.

My website is coming along nicely and I am gathering more content to add.

Any ideaS?

Day three?

So i am losing track of days. Eating well and keeping the energy high. Still wont give up my double double in the morning, but I am definitely drinking more and more water.

Last night we went to the gym for an hour. Not very long, but long enough.

We booked for a one on one consultation and we will be meeting them next week. I can not wait.

And then we have drop in aquasize tonight so i am excited about that.

What do you like best about the gym? And like least?

I'll spend my golden years in Victoria, BC

I may want to go somewhere warm too, but I am Canadian and I do not see me leaving anytime soon. Even if I had all the money in the world, I would travel but I would end back here in Canada.
I say Victoria, but it would probably be somewhere else on the island. With the exception of this year there is not much winter. It is beautiful... ocean and mountains in the same breath taking view.

How can it get better than that really??

You have to see it to experience it, it is breath taking and the people are fantastic!

Update of Day one, and two

Ok, so it went really well on day one. Signed up for the monthly pass so I have NO excuses, got a book that tells me all the drop in classes. Headed for the bikes, the thigh abductors, the track and elipticals. I hurt by the end of it.. but that is good right? no pain no gain? Yes I stretched and warmed up. And I know it is because of my lack of using those muscles for so long.

Then the family met me and we went swimming for 1.5 hours.

The next day was to be a day of rest.. sunday. But no, I figured since we have the pass we better use it and we went swimming for two hours. Saw Paul Blart, Mall cop which is HILARIOUS and we had a really good day.

Tonight after honey is done his kickboxing my friend and I will venture back to the land of eliptical trainers, treadmills, bikes and the dreaded pushups. A few laps around the track and we will be getting into the swing of things.

:)

Day one

Well wish me luck. I have had my Access bar (from Melaleuca) and drank a couple glasses of water I am now awaiting my friend to pick me up and we are off to the gym.

I have my ipod loaded and I guess today I want to know what is a good play list for a 1 hour work out?

I will update you on how it went when I get back. I am excited. Today is Day one of the journey I have been waiting too long to start.

Woohoo.

Message Boards are launched

I am so totally excited that I have successfully launched a message board. I really hope that I can drive traffic there somehow and get them working the way I ultimately want to.
I know there are more parents out there than just me who struggled to get the weight off (or still are (me) )

I want the before and afters of all the hard work and I want to know that I played a small insignificant role in helping these people achieve their goals.

Looks like my plans to start next week have been escalated. Day one of the gym is tomorrow.

I plan to revisit the wii fit tonight and get a little bit of warm up and planning in!

Wish me luck.. here is to day one of the journey.
I look forward to blogging it with you.

It has launched

The most effective way to get seen is to be on the internet

So here I am. On the internet. My new website has launched and I am still working on it! I am developing a members section that has a message board so other people can post their information that will help us put all the very best health and wellness information on the internet.

So if you have any ideas... to start me off let me know.

In the mean time here is my resolution. Next week Kim and I are starting Boot Camp and Aquasize, we will also do one night a week of weights and another night a week of cardio four out of 7 days wont be too bad I dont think.

20 pounds in the first month. I know is high... but I think I can do it.

My Spot on the Web

I am just getting started. I have so much to share.. one day at a time. Fitness, financial, and also family.

Please just be patient, I am working it all out now.. but i work fulltime too.

Moms are never ever not BUSY!

Thanks for the help.